Thursday Thriller

Delta: Three words. Tomorrow. Is. Friday. This has been the longest week? Does anyone else feel like this week has just drug on and on and on? Ugh.

Let's cut straight to the chase. Johnny's boy Matt is a goner on American Idol. See ya, Eight Mile.

And the shocker of shockers… Adam Lambert was in the bottom three. I was thrilled by this. Although, I can appreciate the fact that he was humble last night… allow me to explain, if you missed it.

Ryan separated the top 5 into two groups. On one side was Allison and Danny. On one side was Kris-with-a-K and Matt. Ryan then says to Adam, who hadn’t been placed on either side yet, “Adam, what side do you think you deserve to be on?” So, at first, I thought he was having to pick which of the two groups was better. This would have been a no-win situation for him and a really tough spot. But then, he turned it into a moment of humility, which I really do appreciate. He basically said, based on the harsh comments from the judges for Allison’s and Danny’s performances, that they might be in the bottom three, so he humbly stepped over there, stating that he probably was in the bottom three too. (Did he really believe this? I highly doubt it. Even if he started out truly humble, the judges’ comments for him throughout this show would have inflated ANYone’s ego.)

Regardless, I’m pretty sure everyone was shocked when Ryan pulled Adam over to the other side and said: here’s your bottom three, America.

In case you’ve forgotten, let me remind you just what we’re dealing with if we vote Adam Lambert to be the next American Idol.
Though, I definitely think Adam is talented and deserved to be kept on the competition, I am NOT for him. By any stretch of the imagination. Yikes.

I think I’ve made my point. I’ll move on.

Johnny: Obviously, America got it wrong on this one. I must admit, I’ve lost a little excitement for the show not that 8 Mile is gone. I guess I’ll have to jump on the Jason Miraz with a limp wrist bandwagon and go with Kris. He’s the most normal; no sob story and he plays an instrument which I think is a must.

Delta: Having to play an instrument is a stupid rule, Johnny. This is VOCAL competition, to quote Simon. Not to mention, my girl Allison totally plays the guitar.

In state news, this story is a little unsettling. Basically, this guy, Mark Seepe, owned a funeral home/crematory here in the Metro area. These days, a lot of people are setting up accounts where they can pay for their funeral costs before they actually kick the bucket. The money they pay in is supposed to be set up in some sort of account so that when they die, their funeral/burial is paid-for and their family will not have to bear that financial burden. Well, this guy didn’t take care of those funds. He instead stole almost $40,000 and did who-knows-what with it. We do know one thing… he wasn’t fixing his crematory equipment with it. Because a former employee of Seepe’s released some photos after the lawsuit came out against him… these photos showed the broken crematory machine, and also showed random people’s remains (bones, ashes) mixed together in his funeral home. The lawsuit is only for the financial fraud, and there is another separate investigation as to his misuse of human remains. He is pleading guilty to the financial fraud and has been sentenced to 10 years in prison. SO, the moral of this story is, if your family has pre-planned for their last day on earth, I hope it’s not with Mark Seepe. Scar-ums.

Johnny: This really is disgusting. When I was working in NYC, my company looked at buying a crematory company. There was one that stood out because it had insanely high margins (relative to its competitors), meaning it made more per cremation that the others. Turns out the company was following Seepe’s business model and just stuffing the urns with random ashes. Apparently, it takes a lot of heat to melt bone, so this guy thought no one would notice when he just put some ashes in there. Needless to say, we didn’t buy that one.

Delta: On June 2, my neighborhood will decide whether or not it wants to buy liquor/wine by the glass at our restaurants. There will have to be a 50% plus one vote to approve the referendum in order for this to pass. All I have to say is, for the love of margaritas at El Potrillo, people, let’s do this! Though I disagree with them, I know there are those who think this way (which I copied directly from the comments section on CL.com)…

Ah, "progress." Yes, liquor is quicker. Quicker inebriation, more DUI mayhems, faster and more lethal crashes. And, MORE profit. It's not enough to hire illegal alien busboys, we want to get rich (through drunks) quick. You will be so proud, Diezes, to see the shattered vehicles and ambulances with sheet covered corpses. Ah, "progress." We just don't have enough paralyzed four year olds. Have a drink on me. I'm "progressive."

Attention: we already can buy beer in Flowood. And every other area around here, as far as I know. Yes, there are drunk driving accidents, and I am sensitive to that fact, as I have had family members (who were not drinking) killed in alcohol-related accidents. However, can’t people get drunk on beer and have an accident? Yes. Can those people do that now? Yes. PLUS, in case no one else has noticed, Flowood (or “Flo-berry,” as we like to call it) Police are Nazis, which I am personally thankful for. As soon as you enter our city limits, it is like DUI Alley. They are on top of things. And it’s not like there is tons of crime in Flo-berry… they have nothing else to do except for pop drunk drivers. Relax, tee-totalers. I am not for drunk driving; I love a designated driver. But I am for a margarita with my quesadilla and cheese dip. Yum!

Johnny:

ring-ring-ring

“This is the Mayor of Flowood”

"Yes Mayor, this is the 21st century calling, we’d like you to wake up.”

I don’t see how Flowood has gone this long without allowing alcohol in restaurants. I want people to realize that alcohol, when consumed responsibly, is alright. Some forms (red wine mainly) actually improve your cholesterol. Plus, talk about an economic stimulus. Most restaurants aim to break even on food because the margins are so good on booze. Whereas a food margin might be 10-20%, margins on alcohol can be upwards of 70%. That’s real money.

In real Jackson news, it seems like all great streaks in Mississippi high school sports end at 89. South Panola lost to Meridian after winning 89 in a row in football. Apparently, JA finally lost a track meet. After 89 meets and 11 consecutive state championships (I was part of two), someone finally beat us. I’m a firm believer it has to do with the Coach (Joey Hawkins) “resigning” from JA. He was also the football coach and had an unbelievable record. Apparently, some parents were angry their kids weren’t playing so they voiced their opinion and he was gone. I think it’s a crock, but that’s the way private schools work.

Delta: In other parts of the world, John Rich was wrong. They aren’t shutting Detroit down…they’re shutting Mexico down. The World Health Organization stated that “all of humanity is threatened” due to the Swine Flu.

You know, it’s often been thought that a huge asteroid or aliens would end the world (a la Armageddon or Independence Day). Turns out, it might be piggies! A favored animal of children’s stories and nursery rhymes… The Three Little Pigs, This Little Piggy Went to Market, Charlotte’s Web, etc.

I mean, really, which looks more menacing?

I rest my case.

Workin' for the weekend,

Delta and Johnny